“And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?’ He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.’ They said to him, ‘Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.’” (ESV)
What does this verse often get misunderstood to mean?
Jesus loves marriage and therefore only allows divorce in cases of adultery.
What does this verse actually mean?
Jesus raised the bar for what it means to be a faithfully married man by refusing to entertain a cultural double standard and emphasizing the reverence of marriage.
Explanation
Religious Showdown
The religious experts of the day were divided over Deuteronomy 24:1-4, where Moses says that a man can divorce his wife over indecency. One group claimed that this solely meant the indecency of adultery. The other group claimed that indecency was a much broader term, and a man could divorce his wife over something as small as a spoiled dish if he pleased. This approach was much more popular. In asking Jesus the question in verse 3, the Pharisees were trying to force Jesus to pick one of the two camps.
The Double Standard of Adultery
There is some historical and cultural context at play in this conversation. At this time in history and in Jewish culture, adultery was only ever considered an offense against men, not women. A married man could sleep with another woman, and so long as it was an unmarried woman, it did not count as the man being unfaithful, and he would not be legally punished for it. If a woman did the same thing, she would be stoned to death. It was also common for men to avoid committing legally recognized adultery by instead engaging in serial instances of divorcing their wives over something they could construe as an indecency and remarry. Thus, completely disrespecting the sacredness of marriage. So, when the Pharisees were asking this question about divorce in cases of adultery, they were only thinking about adultery as it relates to the woman being unfaithful.
Jesus’s Response
Knowing that, Jesus’s response in verses 4-6 of going on a short tirade about how special marriage is and that it should be respected is all the more beautiful. He is not letting himself be baited into a petty argument but rather addresses the deeper problem. Jesus is essentially telling the men listening that they need to get rid of this double standard of adultery. He is calling them to revere marriage and run from any culturally acceptable loopholes used to get out of the commitment of marriage.
In verse 8, Jesus also points out that Moses does not command divorce; he permits it, though that was never the original plan for marriage. Jesus is saying again how valuable marriage is and that every effort should be taken to reconcile if possible.
This echoes the same sentiment that Jesus expresses quite clearly a few chapters earlier in Matthew 5:27-28. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” And in verse 31, “‘It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery...” (NIV)
In this passage as well, Jesus is raising the standard for what it means to be faithful to your wife. He is telling the men to stop seeing how close they can toe the line before it’s considered adultery, that they shouldn’t even be looking at other women. In verse 31, Jesus also counterculturally states that he recognizes adultery as a crime able to be committed against women, not just against other men.
Conclusion
In conclusion, rather than play the Pharisee’s game of trying to make him pick a side on divorce rules, he calls out the double standard present in the culture and calls them to rise above it and respect God’s design for marriage.
Sources
Shammai and Hillel: https://www.wyattgraham.com/p/did-jesus-side-with-hillel-or-shammai
The Double Standard of Adultery: https://sarahjoconnor.com/the-double-standard
Therapy and Theology: https://share.transistor.fm/s/3e3ab9fd/transcript
Divorce, Abuse, and Remarriage: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/bible-divorce-remarriage